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Maybe the solution to the way children treat each other could be related to their needs being met (or not). Everyone ranks these basic human needs differently, and the way you rank them reflects the way you are as a person. The top four needs in the list shape our personality, while the last two reflect our spiritual needs.

Humans are driven in life by six basic needs:

  1. Certainty: Sense of feeling in control.
  2. Uncertainty: Excitement of not knowing what going to happen next.
  3. Significance: Being best in your chosen field and a feeling of status in your community.
  4. Connection/Love: Feeling of closeness and contentment.
  5. Growth: Knowing that what you are doing is moving you closer to your goals.
  6. Contribution: Giving back to community in a meaningful way.

These needs are not just ‘nice to have’ or ‘take it or leave it’, these deep needs drive us and are the reasons behind our beliefs and choices in life. Having an awareness of this and grasping why people are motivated to act the way they do will give you clarity and the ability to promote transformation in people’s lives and your own!

I was curious to know what was important in my life and why I am the person I am. So, before attending Tony Robbins’ event, I completed the free six human needs questionnaire online and found that I scored high in growth, contribution and connection/love. On day one of the four-day seminar, Tony asked everyone to raise their hands if they felt any of the first four human needs rank high on their priority list, and 95 per cent of people raised their hands. On the fourth day, after leading us in learning about how to lead an incredible life, Tony asked the same question again. This time only 5 per cent put up their hands for the first four needs and 95 per cent had changed their choice to one of the spiritual needs (the final two needs). The audience now understood that if you are not growing you are dying, and to find true happiness in this world you need to contribute back to society.

I have always said ‘Attitude reflects leadership’ – if the adults think that the first four human needs should be the most important, I believe that this is why we are having problems in our society. We have become selfish instead of selfless. If our children receive downloaded negative emotional programming from family, then friends, followed by society, there is less of a chance of them having an incredible life. They will be struggling to overcome the negative emotions they absorbed in the first seven years, from other people who did not necessarily even offer what they wanted in life.

How does this relate to bullying? If you bully someone, then you are certain about who is in control; you can get uncertainty in your life because you can bully a variety of children. I am sure you are feeling significant now and in a weird sense, you have a strong feeling of closeness with your victim. Now, if your first four human needs are highly stimulated through your actions, why would you want to change? Life is fantastic.

If you look at the current sports that are offered in school, you would be talking about football, soccer, swimming and cricket. They all have a purpose, but none are focused on reducing bullying to a manageable level. The reason why I believe that martial arts should be included as a compulsory school sport is because it educates children on how to have respect and build integrity. It teaches children about honour, honesty and how important it is to lead a humble life. With these characteristics I am sure that our children will grow and contribute back to society in a meaningful way.